Detroyt- The Adventures of Byll Monahan- Taking the Sweet with the Sour- One Month In…

Today was not only the first day I ever tried grits- it was also the last day I ever tried grits…

I have been working here in Detroyt for one month now, and I have learned so much. It is kinda crazy to think that life has gone by so fast already. And even though I am enjoying my time here, I have planned a trip home later on this week- spending time with family and friends due to the fact that I won’t be home for the holidays. That notion still bothers me a bit, but I am learning to live with it…

…

Where do I begin? Work first I suppose: I am now an accomplished and glorified secretary. I have learned to work the coffee machine and make a killer cup of brew- at least that is what my fellow workers tell me- I have a sneaking suspicion that they feed my ego so they won’t have to make their own coffee or tea themselves. Damn! They have discovered my secret weakness- flatter and ego inflation! I have had a pot of tea every day since I’ve been here- it’s lovely!

I am really beginning to understand why God placed me here. There are so many minor problems that need major fixings here- little things and issues that have too long been smoldering beneath the surface- people not being organized: unable to find papers, coffee, kids- people not communicating: writing in the log book, daily check sheet, observation notes- staff relations with the kids: in part with staff communication, rule breaking, playing favorites, and simply not interacting with them.

I have learned what it means to go to bed tired. These eight hour work days, six hour naps and eight hour work days are crazy. The very concept of time has become something of a mystery to me. I am either fully aware of every moment, or I am actually CELEBRATING A MONDAY- since my weekends are on Tuesdays and Wednesdays now. It’s weird how I used to value Fridays and Saturdays as time off. I don’t see how that is anymore, though I do get to spend quality time with the kids those days.

Fridays and Saturdays are my afternoon/evening shifts: 3:30-11:30, and during these times I work with two wonderful people who love to goad one another on. They bring joy to my heart and are always good for a joke or some solid advice. I have learned lots about the Illuminati and different blends of tea to name a small portion of my education.

The kids here are delightful. The Rights of Passage, where I work, harbor the kids who want to be here, and they are just solid kids. We had a few bad eggs for awhile, but they were either discharged or let themselves out-  people come and go often here- some are celebrated- some are mourned.

Saturdays are usually our Smoothie Movie Nights- we have been watching anything I have in 

my collection that the kids don’t find “gay”. Yeah--- lets talk about that real quick…

There is a big problem here with using that term as an adjective for stupid. I am here for a reason: I am trying to break the kids of using “gay” or “retarded” as insults or adjectives of distaste. It is for sure on my goal list.

I have struggled here a bit with all of the teen suicide in the gay community as of late. It has gotten out of control and needs to end. And this environment is in dire need of help in this instance. I was approached by a teen who has been having suicidal thoughts and has been cutting. He also shared with me that he was bi and felt very out of place here. Having come from out of state, he has nowhere to go to call his community- please keep him in your prayers and positive thoughts- he is presently one of my biggest concerns. He is also one of my favorites, not because he is bi, but because he reminds me of the people from back home.

During my weekdays, I work with three different women who simply make me a better person. My Sundays and Mondays are filled with Ms B. who is just a fantastic DJ and rockstar. She and I listen to all her favorite music, most of which has become my favorite music! We talk conspiracy theory about Tupac and Biggie and we love all them good grooves- the kinds that you need to have candle light and a good man by your side to really appreciate!

My other DJ is Ms T. and she is just a hot mess! She and I laugh more and more every day. We play all the good Gospel Music and Praise and Worship jams. She took me to a concert with a few of the kids the other night. Dr. Marvin Sapp and Brian Courtney Wilson performed along with a bunch of others at the Second Ebenezer Church. My first real experience in the community, and I stood out like Woah! People were incredibly welcoming to me, especially after they saw me getting into the music. I prayed with two lovely older women who just kept grabbing and shaking my hands like they were Oprah or something! Gotta love the Oprah hug (GOOD FOR YOU! GOOD FOR YOU!).

so…

Mr J. is a wonderful man. He is also my boss. I have not had much interaction with him aside from delivering messages and transferring calls to him, but the few conversations I have had have been wonderful.

I most recently took the kids out to a $1.50 movie! Unheard of out in Philly- but really big out here! I have long overlooked how many blessings I have had in my life that I have either not recognized or abused. Going to the movies, running across a busy highway, just sitting in a car and listening to music, eating snacks or candy- these kids have not had the chance to do these things for so long. It had been over a year since some of them had gotten out to see a movie. 

I also got pulled over by a cop while out with the kids. Freeways turn into developments too quickly round here and speed limit signs are few and far between. But the guy didn’t even give me a chance to get the registration and insurance out of the van glove compartment. He asked me what the van was for and I told him what Covenant House was all about. He walked away and came back a minute later and told me to move on and slow down. I love my job! The kids loved the encounter too- they couldn’t stop laughing!

I have taken it upon myself to clean everything in the agency office. I have been organizing papers, files, the computer desktop. It is remarkable what I have found. People hide things everywhere here. I found a box of tea in the bottom of the closet- it was a secret stash. Next to it was a bag of caffeinated instant coffee, an unavailable commodity around here, believe me!

I had to drive a kid to the emergency room the other day for psychiatric evaluation. It was by far one of the hardest things I have had to do so far. I had to petition them- which essentially signs them up for a gown a bed and depending on the situation, bed restraints. It was incredibly difficult to witness.

On a lighter note, I work with kids from the Crisis Center next door two or three times a week helping them with life skills. It is a group called Total Me. I am so NOT qualified to teach some of the stuff we have been talking about- so I keep it together by letting them talk in an open discussion for many of the talks. But we have recently changed our over-arching theme to Social Skills- which has been like playing video games for me! I have loved these groups and I have really made some wonderful connections with some of the kids. Thus far we have covered dating violence, internet violence, street violence, anger management and forgiveness. Let me tell you- these kids have got it down. They know how to handle themselves in almost any situation, but it’s in practicing what you preach that they miss sometimes. So we have been talking about that.

From these groups, I have seen kids in gangs almost start fights, a couple of couples break up and get back together, the men share stories about their mothers, the women about their fathers, uncles and other relatives, sleeping residents becoming the most active participants in the class, and the quiet kids beginning to open up. All of this, in 45 minute sessions a day! It is exhausting!

Lastly, I have been in charge of handing out meds. The kids are so good about it, but some simply refuse. It is hard to see them destroy themselves, especially when the agency does not require them to take their meds in order to stay… does this bother anyone else- or just me?

…

Community next I suppose.

I live in a lovely little cottage in the middle of campus. The pulse and beat of my world- my ever present, ever ticking clock, is the basketball court, and all of the people who play are my second hand. I hear the dribbling of rubber on black top and I know it is 9am, right after breakfast. Again and it is 1:00, right after lunch. Again at 2:15, between Total Me Classes, and again at 6:30, right after dinner. I can nap and know when to wake up without an alarm.

I share a room with my housemate Josh. We have very different tastes, but I value him in my life right now. He is calm and gentle and knows just how to act at the right times. He has his moments of crazy, which usually involve him breaking into a dance with Jessie, or throwing a curve-ball comment at Chui. We have a mutual affinity for incense- thank Allah!

Jessie continues to be her perky self. She has a bottomless and undying appetite for life. Her joy has been a good thing in my life, and my “steadiness” has been a balance for her- I think. We have enjoyed the integration into the house together, and we fondly remember everything that has transpired between us since Formation. It is nice to have someone to look at and have them simply understand what you are thinking and going through.

Chui is being added to my list of Moms. She is incredible. I am so glad to have her in my life. We have cooked many meals together, our most recent one consisting of Simple Chicken, Pineapple Casserole and Acorn Squash. She bought a 25lbs bag of rice the other day, it was her pride and joy because it was only $8! We have maybe eaten half of it since then! She is my biggest fan out here, my ultimate encouragement. I am hoping to learn everything I can from her- and Josh too. It is weird that we only have a few weeks left of them before we say goodbye. I feel as though I have been with them for much longer than simply a month…

The community has shared some good times together- we have done lots of shopping and small adventures together. Chui has taken us to parks- something I have missed since moving away from good old Valley Forge Park. I have discovered a new place of retreat- Belle Isle Park, a 5 mile island in the middle of the Detroit River, filled with fountains, lakes, conservatories, roads, and all manner of things to do. I hope to go there again soon and take pictures- look for them!

Josh has taken us to his dear friends’ two homes. They are urban gardeners living in intentional community with one another. They grow all manner of veggies and fruits and have raised chickens and bees too! I am eager to help them make jams and canned pears soon. I may even help them with the honey harvest!

The urban farmers have kittens to protect the chickens from rats. Can I tell you how cute they are- just wow! So Little! One of the farmers is moving away, but she has a bunny named Ophelia. Again- WOW!

The farmers have a bi monthly potluck/bonfire and I am hoping to get involved more and more with them. They are simply wonderful people. We watch Glee together every Tuesday- need I say more…

Things I have noticed while out and about in Detroyt:

-There are liquor stores on EVERY CORNER!- which is totally unfair since we live in a dry house…

-Strip Clubs are on every block, and are advertised with Big BOLD Signs and Lights and… pumpkins…? I wish I was joking- at least Philly keeps theirs below ground…

-The speed limit here is 65 mph. The speed minimum is 55 mph. Yep…

-Gay clubs are either really scattered around the area or really into Drag. Good times…

-Soda is called Pop out here… weirdos!

-There is a street filled with crack dens all of two blocks away from the agency- no lie- the cops won’t even go down those streets- all of the lamp lights have been shot out, and people just sit in front of their houses tripping. Cars are parked on both sides of the street, making the two-way street a one way lane at the best of times.

-J-walking is a criminal offense here. You will actually get ticketed.

-Detroyt is surrounded by wealthy areas in every direction. The city itself is dying out.

-The typical Detroyt greeting is, “What up, Doh?”

-I am really glad I learned about gang signs too. I have seen so many around the areas I have driven through during the day time, so I have learned to avoid those streets at night.

…

Now let me say a few words about my Prayer Life. I have seen so many roses since I’ve been here, which means Saint Theresa has had my back. The Blessed Mother has done wonderful things for me. She is present in only a few places around here, but she is doing great things for me and for these kids.

My faith life has bloomed into a new kind of flower. I am learning about the Divine Order, the real presence of Jesus, and the real presence of the Devil. I have been told by a few people here that, “White people are always talking about God, and Black people are always talking about Jesus…” AT first I was not sure how to react to this statement made by one of the kids and then by one of my fellow staff members, but I am starting to see it.

People here are afraid of the Devil, in a big way. “He is trying to kill me,” they say. They are often afraid of other faith forms, as it might be trying to keep them away from the Jesus they know. This has been difficult for me, as my faith life is very different.

One of my favorite workers, Mr M. has had experiences he and I have not gotten to talk about yet, but I know there will be a time to discuss our own faith journeys with one another.

…

I am going to be home for a week, during which time I will be with my MYAns, my Cabrini Crew, my Old School friends, my Gaming group, my Ren Faire Geeks, my Praise and Worship friends, and of course, my loving Family.

I miss so many people from home, so I am making the most of this trip and trying to take time for me as well. I am eager to see people I have not been able to get in contact with, and I am longing for hugs from old and dear friends.

I will continue to write- I hope you continue to read.

Detroyt- The Adventures of Byll Monahan- WITHOUT FAIL / A Michigan Left

I was in the car today and Jessie commented on the unique traffic patterns- It's called a Michigan Left, he said, and I observed the small divet in the highway median. It's for turning around to get to the other side of the road, or if you forgot your wallet!

A Michigan Left...
This sounds like a good band name or a poem title- I am calling dibs on the poem title- you can have the band name if you want. I saw this strange concept floating around in my head- an avoidance of a U-Turn at best, but so much more in a metaphorical sense. I realized I had not blogged in what felt like weeks- so now I need to catch you all up on what you missed.
Let's got back, making that U-Turn you see...

I learned a lot about myself- including the fact that I have sharp edges. We discussed the concept of how river stones are so smooth because they have been tossed about for so long and have bumped against one another so many times and have rendered all of those jagged edges into nothingness. The only way to lose your edges is to go into a necessary conflict with other people's edges...

I had some of the best dumplings and bubble tea at a charming little grill in Chinatown. Honeydew tea with tapioca balls made for an enjoyable experience.

The Astoria Beer Garden was the first breakthrough we all had as a group- those of us that could make it that is. We bonded over the universal social lubricant- alcohol. Introduced many in the group to different beers- and tried a few different ones myself.

We celebrated Labor Day with Margaritas on the roof- my CRANE brought us up to the upper roof- I hear her- she helped me along the entire Formation.

I got locked in the glass shower. Twice. Yep.
I broke it the door the second time...
Now no one gets locked in... yeah... not one of my better moments- funny as hell- but not so good!

We watched many movies this Formation. I was so glad to spend quality time with these people and watch movies like- But Ima Cheerleader, Crush, Benny and Joon, The Labyrinth and Pippi Longstocking.

Went to the Monster- a gay bar- it was delightful. The downstairs was a dance floor and the upstairs was a Piano Bar. I got up and sang a few of my favorite show tunes: Being Alive, The Ladies Who Lunch, Don't Rain on My Parade and This is the Moment. I was applauded by a bunch of people and one guy bought me a drink- it was nice to be able to sing again. I brought it home with me- that feeling of being human again. On the subway ride home- I found a sketch book that had pictures of dresses and eyes in it. I will be making it into my journal for this year. Little prayers like that are always being answered.

I took an enneagram- I'm a 4- go educate yourselves.

I sang to my Stephanie on the Roof. She is incredible.

I will give a bit more detail to these next few sections- sorry I've been brief- it's hard to put things into too many details sometimes...

Drum Circle. We had the chance to be in a drum circle with an incredible leader who kept my attention the entire time- he introduced the concepts of spirituality through music and rhythm and well- it was amazing.

I then came to Detroit.

Finally- Detroyt


I went to Canada for my birthday- it's like ten minutes from our house.

I miss everyone. Dearly.

Back Home- Morris is in a show, hunter goes on and vampire had its first game.
My mom keeps crying every time I call her- and then tells me I need to call her more often. It's a sick game...

My first day of work today was kinda dull- hopefully it will pick up...

Sorry guys- this blog took a lot out of me- I know it is not my usual thought provoking email- just time for updates- maybe I needed to come back to this point- just random stream of consciousness- but we will see what the next Michigan Left has in store for me...

The first days of school- Kristie

On August 25th, the school year began for St. Ann’s Catholic School students in Belcourt, ND. I was nervous, to say the least, to meet my students and to actually teach them something. Teaching was and still is an entirely new concept (if you don’t count my first semester of college as a elementary ed major).

My dear friend Benadryl had me asleep by 9:30 on the 24th. I woke up at 7:00 the next day and got ready. I had already picked out my outfit and was at school by 7:40. I signed in, opened up my classroom, and quickly filled out the name tags of for each of my 3rd grade students. I got my walkie talkie (we don’t have an intercom system or phone system in the school) and headed down to the cafeteria. I stood with another teacher as we saw the students come into the school and find their place at their seats. After praying with two other teachers, I walked over to some of the students I recognized from Meet the Teacher night and sat down with them. I could tell they were nervous since this was their first year as well at St. Ann’s. I chatted with them about their summers and expectations of the year. I walked around the cafeteria some more, introduced myself to some parents, and nervously anticipated the bell. After what seemed like forever, the bell rang and the students lined up for morning prayer.

As I looked around the students, I noticed some things that were different than what I remembered as a student in a nice middle class Catholic school. Every year, I would get a new backpack, shoes, and other school supplies. If you looked at a picture of me from the first day of school, you could tell that I was wearing mostly new things. Standing in the cafeteria of a poor Catholic school in a poor region, it was not the same picture. The kids looked nice but not many had new things. There were the exceptions of course but exceptions they were. For the most part, the picture looked much different than the pictures of my childhood.

After we said our prayers, I led my 5 students to our classroom. I instructed them to hang their coats up where their name tags were and to find their seats. I realized, as I looked at their adorable faces, I didn’t have to be so nervous anymore. My lessons were planned and they were willing to learn.
Once I came upon that realization, the day went by quickly and smoothly. My students, I realized, were not as shy as they first appeared. They love to talk and are pure girly girls. Whenever I’m making up sentences, they suggest the first names of Disney and Nickelodeon stars for the subject’s name. Right now, we are preparing for a puppet show they are going to put on for the kindergarten class. Their puppet’s names are Demi, Selena, Milly, Rosie, and Catherine (I put a block on Disney after the second Disney name, which is why it’s Milly instead of Miley). They look forward to music and art class, but usually dread gym class. They get into trouble for talking but work their hardest to get a sticker at the end of the day (sticker=no name on the board). On Fridays, someone is usually upset they had a sticker free day that week, which means they won’t be able to pick from the prize bucket. I don’t feel at all bad for bribing them with candy and sparkly pencils in exchange for good behavior. Besides it's not bribing if you call it an incentive policy.

By the end of each day, I usually feel tired, have to pee, and prefer not to use my voice. It can be a long day with my students. They test my patience. They don’t always do their homework. They talk out of turn. They give me attitude. They don’t always say thank you.They give each other attitudes. Sometimes, they get into fights. They make me repeat myself all of the time. I hate repeating myself.

Yet, for each time I have to tell them to quiet down or take a deep breath, I can’t help but think of how they act most of the time. They make me laugh. They make each other laugh with silly jokes I don’t always find as funny. They give me hugs. They tell me they’re happy I’m their teacher. They smile when they finally understand a new concept. Above all, they make it easy to see the face of Christ in them. 

I never realized I would love my students so quickly and so deeply.

I have a student. She’s really funny and bright. She’s also extremely poor. She comes to this school on scholarship. She refuses to bring in her sneakers for gym class. When I asked her where were sneakers were last Monday, she looked up at me with a hint of sadness in her eyes and said “I think I forget to bring in my sneakers because I’m really embarrassed of them. They’re all torn up and they pinch my toes. They’re really ugly. People will make fun of me for having them”. As much I encouraged her that people won’t make fun of her for having old sneakers, she wouldn’t bring them in. I had been racking my brain all week with a way to buy her new sneakers without her knowing I got them for her. I wanted to do so in a way as to not offend her mother or make the other kids jealous. On Friday, only an hour before I was going to approach our principal about it, my plan was thrown out the window. Another one of the girls in my class went up to the girl before gym class and told her “I’m going to ask my mom if I can give you a pair of my sneakers. I didn’t get to wear them that much before I got too big for them. They’re really cool too. This way, you can have sneakers and won’t be embarrassed anymore”. The smiles on both of their faces were childlike and pure.

These girls, they are Christ for each other. They are Christ for me.

Detroyt- The Adventures of Byll Monahan- Be About It

So today we had the day off and are going into Chinatown and then taking the night to do something crazy and fun as a community. I showed people my movie collection- they were, well, lets just say they might understand a little bit more about why I am the way I am- we watched Sweeney Todd- not by my influence at all even- and it was moderately received! I am having such a fun time getting to know people and letting them get to know me.

So there is a lot to start talking about for this recent experience of coming into community. I am learning just how loud I really am and how I need to be a little more conscious of that from time to time... I know how many of you are thinking- "I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU THAT FOR YEARS!" But this is my time to learn my strengths and weaknesses- so cope!

I learned an interesting term the other day during our training sessions: pseudocommunity.
Its the awkward phase that we go through when in a new situation- a transitional phase before becoming an actual community- in which you are dancing around pleasantries with people- being careful not to step on toes or say anything uncomfortable. Simple laughter at little jokes. Not addressing little things that bother us with other people.

Basically- All of the high school lunch table conversations and group projects with people you may not have been social with- the first three months of college- any time you have to be with awkward relatives etc.

But this was both a good and terrible thing in my understanding- this concept.
How necessary it is to be polite for those first few days and not be blunt and open and honest and... well see now it sounds unreal.
And that's just it- its not real. Our books have told us that pseudocommunity is conflict aversion- which as I am sure you know of me- I am so opposite of that whole mindset.
If someone has a problem with me they really need to tell me- pull me aside or confront me in a group and just be like- "Byll- this is not ok!"

Many of my best friends have been able to do just this and they will attest that my response has been ultimately one of remorse and dedication to fix the dilemma.

But pseudocommunity is based in the knowledge of three aspects- time, fear and comfort.

If we are only going to be spending so much time with a person- we may want to simply disengage from them and not be open- thus averting conflict.
If we are afraid of addressing someone because we don't know how they will react- we avert conflict.
If we are uncomfortable being the person who stirs up the waters- we avert conflict.

BUT THE WATERS MUST BE STIRRED UP!!!
If we just let things remain stagnant- and we observe this lovey-dovey crap- we will never really feel any depth or sense of true and honest connection with one another.

How tragic!

But by addressing the issues, not being afraid of confrontation and being comfortable enough to get it thrown back at ourselves, be move into the next step of community- Chaos- which is resolved by an emptying of the self to allow for stability and thus Community.

So pseudocommunity is so important- because without it- there can be no chaos and no emptying and then community can never be achieved.
-------------
That's the lesson for the day.

I guess I have been feeling at times that I don't really fit in- but then I realize that none of us really fit it- so I don't feel nearly as bad about it.
I have made some great connections with some of the people here- I feel as though I have connected with everyone on some level and that makes me wonder if my connections are breeding pseudocommunity or not.

AM I A PSEUDO-SPREADER?

I hope not.

I guess the only real way to find out is to be engaged when the time is appropriate- to be really present. We've talked a lot about being present this week- and I wonder how often I am really present with people.
We need to be about it. We need to be about being present- be about what we are doing, where we are doing it and with whom we are doing it.

So now I need to get ready for the Beer Garden and China town trip- maybe a club after.

-Did you know that Mitch Albom- author of Tuesdays with Morrie was from Detroit?
Be About It!

Detroyt- The Adventures of Byll Monahan- September 1st/2nd

Well after what has been one of the best summers of my life- I am now in NYC on Formation for Covenant House.
It has been a long road- with so many farewell wagons- to coin a Da-da from only yesterday.
I am exhausted- up at 6am to get ready to leave- got up here around 11am- said goodbye to the RENTs and discovered that I was wrong about people I was to be living with in Detroit. One of the girls that was coming with us had to back out last minute. Elizabeth- if your reading this- I hope you are well baby and I am praying for you and your family- hope all is going smoothly.
Lots of paperwork and talks and processing of information.

What I have learned so far:
Energy can sometimes be like a water wheel- the more you pour into it the more power you get in return.
There is nothing quite like the sounds of an Irish band singing sweet songs into one's head before bedtime.
Living in community is not fair- no one said it would be- think about it!
Taking time to run through fountains keeps you in your childlike joy- Washington Park cheered for us tonight.
My desire is like the moon- waxing and waning but always there.

I will have plenty of updates soon enough- but for now just know that I am alive and living!
Making time for poetry soon.
Be sure to check out my Summer Photo Album on Facebook.
My Skype name is ByllMono- look for me!

Until next time- Fairfarren.

Confusion and Joy

It has been two weeks and two days since I stepped off of the train and arrived in Rugby, ND. I don’t know what you (readers) want to read about more- what I’ve done or how I’ve felt being here so I guess I’ll tell you about both.

What I’ve done:
Orientation: learned about SOLT (the Society of Our Lady the Trinity), about the community, and about our work here.
Prepared for school: arranged and rearranged my classroom, put up posters galore, and made stars that the kids will decorate on the first day. Written lesson plans, incorporated some version of Bingo into almost all of my classes. Punctuation bingo anyone?
Lived in community: experienced the joys and frustrations of living with people. Joy- learning about people and why they’re here. Frustration: no private space of my own.
Eaten frozen grapes: why? Because they’re delicious and fruit goes bad quickly here so I have to freeze it. If you close your eyes, you might be able to pretend you’re eating ice cream.
Gone to Walmart: 4 times. I used to boycott this evil corporation but now I have no other option. My stipend doesn’t cover a $6 gallon of milk! Things are expensive here, even items like milk, oil, wheat products, and others, even though they make, raise, or grow them in North Dakota. They have to ship these goods out to be manufactured, raising the costs significantly.
Attended a pow wow: when in Rome, do as the Romans do. The dancing, music, and costumes were all interesting. I educated the man selling lemonade about Jersey Shore’s accurate portrayal of Sleazeside in the summer and that Snooki was from NY, not NJ. We got into this conversation after he heard I was from NJ. The 4 of us that went kind of stuck out and people wanted to know where we were from.
Explored the area: I stood on top of “Turtle Mountain” which was really just a large turtle made up of wheels that didn’t have the tires on them anymore. I went to the Turtle Mountain Museum where I envied the gorgeous quilts and artwork made by members of the tribe. I also did a light hike up to the highest point in the area. My camera was broke so I only took pictures using my bad camera phone. Regardless, even the nicest camera wouldn’t have been able to capture the raw beauty of the area at sunset.

How I’ve felt:
These last 2 weeks have been hard. I constantly second guess my decision to volunteer at St. Ann’s. Why? I’m not really sure. It’s not about the people. I love the people. My community members and the greater community have been so welcoming, compassionate, and overall awesome to me. It’s nice to have conversations about God and society with them, even when we disagree (which happens often). It’s not about the program. I’m excited to teach 3rd grade. Maybe excited is a slight embellishment but I am looking forward to the challenge of teaching a range of subjects, all day. I came out here with the impression that I would be teaching religion, not science or math. I was a terrible 3rd grade student! Still, I’ve had a good amount of time to prepare so I feel ready and competent. I do not spend my time in misery.
 

So where is this doubt coming from?
Some people say I must be homesick. Other people say I feel this way because school hasn’t started yet. They say that once school starts, I’ll feel much better. Some even claim it’s the devil trying to deter me from God’s plan.
I’ve thought about this a lot in the last 2 weeks and I don’t know if it’s any of those things. While I miss home, I’m not homesick. I know homesickness and this is not it. Besides, I’ve gone longer without being home before. I don’t think the students will change my mind. While they’ll be adorable, bright, and innocent, I just have a feeling the joy I experience teaching won’t be enough to make me want to stay until May. As for the devil, I don’t think this was God’s plan for me to begin with, rather I think it was what I wanted. I assumed it was what God wanted for me since ND was so far away from home. I talked about it being God’s plan so much that I didn’t actually ask GOD if this is what He wanted.

 
What I have been able to pinpoint some of my doubts on is having had a misconception about the program. To be honest, I didn’t do a lot of research of the program before I came here. I didn’t ask about the rules or overall goals they had for the volunteers. Turns out, there are a lot of rules. I understand why they’re in place but I don’t see the benefit as much as others do. I didn’t even ask about the prayer life. I didn’t know how fully obedient Catholic it was here. I’m not saying this is a bad thing. I’m just saying this is not necessarily my thing. It could be though. I haven’t the slightest clue! (insert religious crisis here).

Now I’m not saying that I’m going to quit anytime soon. I’m going to give this program more time. My daily prayer is that I adjust better in the next coming weeks. If I don’t, I have some ideas about what I would do if I came home. These ideas exist only to calm my nerves and anxieties over the possibility of giving up. I like having a backup plan.

So this is where I am right now. I’m confused, joyful, contemplative, nervous, and tired. I have so many questions and uncertainties concerning my future. In fact, the only thing I know for certain is this:
Right now, as I sit at my desk in my classroom, I am blessed. I am thankful that God brought me to Belcourt, ND, where I can learn to be more disciplined and faithful to the plan God has for my life. My faith in God is strong. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- this is God’s plan for my life, not my plan for my life.  

Tomorrow is a big day- the first day of school. I would appreciate any prayers or positive thoughts throughout the day. Who knows? Everything, all of these things I just said, could change tomorrow.

Journey is from Detroit too... still need a new slogan...

So Detroit...
Yep...
It's right across the way from CANADA! Am I going to go to Canada- probably at least once.

I don't really know whats up right now.
My mom told my grandmother- she is trusting God with all of this- so that makes me feel better.

I have been talking to a guy who is already at the agency in Detroit- he has shared a lot about it with me and I am feeling confident. Josh seems like a solid guy and I am eager to learn what I can from him before he leaves- like two weeks or so after we get there...

Lets talk about this one fact shall we:
When I signed up for Covenant House- the city of Detroit wasn't even on the map for me. I had no idea it was even an option for me to go to until I was on Orientation.
At that time- I knew where I wanted to be: New York City!
I mean come on- how fabulous would that be right?! Wrong.

I spent one night in NYC and felt like I was going to choke. My mom coined the term country mouse. And I believe she was right. I stood staring at the Brooklyn Bridge on the first night of my Orientation and was in awe of the city. So big. And I just felt so out of my league. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I love New York. I have always been a fan.
I later sat down and figured out that I was more than capable of living there, but under the conditions that I set. If I were to be in an apartment with a steady paying job and friends and roommates and a lover and beer, things might be different.
But as it was, with all of the business I would be doing on top of the 45 min commute and my unusual onset of loathing for New York subway stations, I found myself slowly changing my mind about living in the Big Apple.

I walked across the Brooklyn Bridge that night, remembering that scene from Sex in the City- the Movie... and thought, "This isn't my life... but if it were- it would have to be all mine!"

So then I learned that Detroit was an option for me to be sent to. And I thought, "Well, why not? I've been so caught up in NYC and now I've got this new idea of it and I hate it. Why not keep Detroit as an option?"

It became my second choice, with AC in the front of the line and Ft. Slaughterdale bringing up the rear.

I felt like God was trying to tell me something about Detroit from the minute I learned it was an option. I went to an old place of worship with a dear friend of mine after I came back from an exhausting Orientation, feeling unstable and insecure with everything in my world.

After about an hour and a variety of gifts of the Holy Spirit later, I heard in my head, "Just shut up and trust me!"

So I am.

----------------------

In other news: I went back to Cabrini today to spend time with special people. One of my Da-da's was on campus getting her life in order for the school year and we ran into one of the most important people in my life. I am not sure whether or not I will write too much about him right now- as he truly deserves an entire blog page of his own some day (as do the rest of the people who put up with me in their classes [ I promise I love you all equally]), but I must say a few words about the genius and madness that is Seth Frechie.

Dr. Frechie was the first English teacher I had at Cabrini and right from the start he made me feel like I was where I was destined to be, and that I was becoming the person I wanted to be...

How's that for starters? That will be my first line in the blog when I get to brown nose for no particular reason- give it time- I'll know when its right to post that one- it will be on a really great day filled with poetry and music or on the worst day ever, when I miss the people I loved the most at Cabrini...

Anyway- I ran into my dear old professor and he was astonished to learn that I was going to Detroit. He apparently has been keeping up with my writing, which worries and honors me. This blog is not safe!!!

Saying goodbye to him was hard. I realized that I would not have that same kind of kinship with any of my superiors ever again. More over, I realized I was going into a much bigger pond and becoming a much smaller fish in less than two weeks. People will not know my name where I am going. I must start anew where I am going. I am eager for this and anxious at the same time.

I will miss walking five feet and running into someone I know, or at least someone who knows me, and being able to say, "Hey Hun!" and embrace them and make them feel like for that moment they are my world. Because for that moment, they were. They always were.

But I am moving on. I learned in my musical class and from one of my favorite peers- you must keep moving on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QA4coDbHLPo

A NETter's Crazy Final Days!

  Thursday, Thursday, oh Thursday! At Camp it meant the counselors would get wings... Well I am not at PFC anymore so that means it is almost time for me to get into my boat and start fishing in MN!

 OK, so I am not yet in MN for NET! BUT, the Lord has some crazy plans in preparing me for this journey. The last few days have been some of the most difficult days of my life. I have dealt with good-byes, excitement, nervousness, and even the thought of wishing that somethings could just stay the way they are now, meaning no body had to go anywhere! BUT.......

 THE LORD has many great things planned for us! HE would not do anything that is not best for us! So maybe I really need to just go already and start my journey across America! Not forget about my friends and family, but stop thinking that everything in my whole entire life is going to be so different afterward. The world is not going to change around me, The Lord is going to simply grow inside of me and make me a better tool for His awesome plans!

 There are things I want to keep the same and I PRAY by the time May comes around, those things have bloomed into wonderful God filled things! NET is coming fast and I know that I am off the wall with excitement, brought down in emotion by sadness and feelings of missing home, BUT I know that God has called me to do this Mission, to continue the work He called Jesus and the Apostles to do in the beginnings of the Church!

 All I can ask for now is for the Father to send His blessings down upon me and for our Mother Mary to give me the courage and graces of herself, when she was the one who said YES to the Lord!

Please pray for me and my fellow NETters as we all come together to start another school year! Peace and God Bless!

Bobby

ABC- Apparently it's not quite so easy...

Did you know that the name Detroit comes from the french term de-troi(t) which means- strait- as in how the city rests by the river to the Great Lakes...
Neither did I, until I realized I needed to start learning a thing or two about the city I was placed in for Covenant House.

There was a bit of a mix up at the agency- I won't be going to my City of Lights after all.
And yet somehow, I am okay with this.
Don't get me wrong, I cried so hard I had to take a nap, during which I think it hailed in my yard. There was a terrible storm today- I guess it rains because I am sad, and not the other way around.

But the sky was beautiful today- the colors of gray and pink with azure-blue, it made me feel like I was protected somehow.

Apparently myself and two of my other volunteers were "misplaced" and only today did I learn about my redirection. I got an email saying I was headed to Detroit and I got all confused. After talking to my Orientation Operator, Joan, and having her stay on the line with me for a half an hour and decompress from this shocking news, I had to call my family. Only my sister and my Dad answered, it was a nightmare.

My dad told me he was anxious from the moment he heard that me going to Detroit was even a possible option, and now telling him that I am going there, well I am sure he is uneasy about it.

My sister Liz totally gets me sometimes. I marvel at how on point she can be with her advice and how, since she has experienced many of the emotions of leaving and being away from loved ones and not knowing whats happening next... I guess she just gets me when I say I am scared of losing another grandparent, and being too far to come home.

When my grandfather became ill this past year, I was able to run to the hospital. I could drop everything and be here for my family. I could have done that, even from Atlantic City. But now...

My mother is a wonderful lady. But when my grandfather was ill, she told us not to get too excited and over-react, or break plans or stop what we were doing in our lives. I said- FUCK THAT- MOVE OVER- I'M COMING TO THE HOSPITAL!

She said the same thing to my sister Meg. She was in Houston at the time. It was enraging to not be with her because my mother said not to worry or fly up. I held my cellphone up to the ear of my dying grandfather so my sister could at least speak to him before he died. Although my grandfather was basically in a coma, he was somewhat aware of his surroundings and could respond to certain sounds and voices.

I watched my grandfather's face react , even though his eyelids were closed, they trembled at the sound of my sister's voice all the way from Houston.

I don't think I can be on a phone if one of my relatives gets ill. Sure I can fly home. But how reliable is that?
And there is no accounting for the suddenness of life...
I know even if it were sudden- even if I was in AC- would it be the same. Yes... and no... but I think you are all smart enough to understand what I'm trying to say.

I don't want to be a voice on a phone. I want to be present. I want to be present...

And now I cannot be. I won't be taking trips home during my weekends. I won't be a quick train ride away. I won't be saving up all my money for a train ticket. I won't be seeing my friends. I won't be LARP-ing on a rare instant. I won't be around.

I am ready.

I am sad.

I am going to Detroit. I will be leaving for NYC for my training on September 1st- I need to be up there by 11am. I leave for Detroit on September 16th.

I am ready.

I know that if I had been told I was going to Detroit a week ago when I originally found out about AC- I would have been just as prepared and excited.
I guess I just got my hopes up.

But I am ready.

Did you know that Sandra Bernhard was from Detroit?
Neither did I...

ABC's- In the waiting line...

So now that I am waiting for this year of service to begin, I've started thinking- which is never a good thing because only two kinds of things happen when I go too deep into the recesses of my mind- unicorns and glitter and madness!

I realized I forgot to mention something important in my last post- I MET FELICIA DAY. She and I talked about how her character Penny was kinda the spark for me doing service work with the homeless. I told her how star struck I was by her and how lame felt when I confessed to my obsession with her voice. I told her I felt like she sings to me when she says, Keep your head up Billy Buddy. LAME!!! But I got her autograph, I made her cry, I hugged her and I touched her hair! THIS IS HER HAIR!!!

Anyway- moving on. I can't begin to describe how relieved I was when I found out I had been placed in Atlantic City. I had never been there in all my years until this summer when I went on a trip with my Da-das and a bunch of really cool people.
We spent the day doing the usual, gamble gamble gamble and then hit the beach- which was then followed by hitting the bar. Hard. We laughed and laughed and I remember as we ran back out to the beach for one last swim before making the trip home, I noticed something so monumental but so subtle.

All of my summers growing up had been spent in some capacity at the Jersey Shore, mainly in Avalon. My family has been blessed to have a house down there, which I have known and loved for as long as I can remember. It sits on the very end of the island, half a block from a private beach, which nowadays we use for cocktail hour- which runs from about 1pm-5pm on some days.
But before it was the open bar- the beach, which we called the bulkhead- was a sanctuary for me. I would play on and in the jetty- the rocks that jut out into the water. I would collect shells and stones and of course the most important thing: treasures!

My family is all about treasure hunting on the beach. We always look forward to rainy days at the beach during the summer. Not just because we get to stay in and play Scrabble or watch movies or go to the surf malls, but because we knew that once the storm had quieted down, the shoreline would be scattered with driftwood and any other kind of debris washed up from the stormy waves. I've found some of the most amazing things after the storms in my life...

More than anything else though, my favorite thing about Avalon was the view. Being at the end of the island, you can watch the bridge to Sea Isle go up and down for all the big ships. And on really clear nights, you can see the lights of Ocean City, and sometimes, even Atlantic City. This lights of the AC were faint at best, but I could always pick out AC from two red lights and one bright blue light. I never knew what they were- but my families always said, "Oh they're just casinos..."

So standing on the beach, tipsy as a rocking horse, I looked up and saw the building I was standing under. It was glowing blue. And next to it, two buildings colored in crimson.

"YOU GUYS GUESS WHAT! I KNOW WHERE WE ARE!!!"

"Billy, shut up and get in the water!"

I ran to the water's edge and looked out across the vast sea, hoping to see the bulkhead. But there were no lights to be seen from this side of the ocean. I could not see the bulkhead, the jetty, the treasures.

But I knew they were all there, somewhere in the darkness.

From a distance, AC looks like a sparkling jewel, a treasure among the waves, far off and distant. But looking from that coastline made me realize that despite the sparkle of the city, there was darkness surrounding it, making it hard for anyone to see past the glamor. It was then that I knew I wanted to be placed in Atlantic City.

Even now I think about those lights and I cannot help but wonder if someone once looked from where I stood on a clear night and thought for a moment they saw my flashlight burning into the open sea air, and thought to themselves, "I wonder if they are lost." Maybe they stood where I did and saw me where I was on the jetty, desperately looking across the ocean at AC.

So now I am returning to the City of Lights, remembering what Felicia said: Even in the darkness every color can be found...

ABC's- Atlantic City, Byll Monahan, Covenant House

Well, Kristie finally got me involved. I figure this is better than facebook stalking- and its good writing practice. So here goes:

I was supposed to write about the waiting process a month ago, and clearly, due to my procrastination and well naturally awful ADD, I never got around to doing so. But I'd still like to share what it was like for me, waiting to find out whether or not the next year of my life was going to start up in flames.

I knew I wanted to do service for my first year out of college, an idea implanted in my crack-head mind by a few of my friends and their subtle influences. First there was Linda, who showed me an online show called Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. The show focuses on three main characters, one of which is a woman named Penny who is played by actress Felicia Day. She sings a song about working with the homeless and how we are always growing.

"Even in the darkness, every color can be found... any time you're hurt, there's one who has it worse around..."

These lines continued to echo in my head, along with her ending, "So keep your head up, Billy Buddy!"

After this, a good friend of mine suggested I look into service. Steve Eberle and I were never the best of buddies I suppose, in fact there have been times when all I wanted to do to him was slap him across the face for some of the stuff he subjected me to. He introduced me to the idea of a service position with Jesuit Volunteer Corps. which was a complete earth and mind shattering disaster. I wanted to break things because of that man and his recommendation. And because of him, I found Covenant House. So thanks Eberle...

Lastly, one of my besties, my Gigi, suggested I do a year of service and forget about the real world for awhile. It was the last push I needed and I got involved and pursued several organizations.

When I got a message about a phone interview I was so excited. Someone wanted me.

When I went on orientation for Covenant House, I thought, wow this is it. I am going to be living in NYC for a whole year... I was wrong.

I became suffocated over the idea of NYC. All of the huge buildings, the subways, the lack of me time and the strict code of "conduct" I would be following just didn't add up in the Big Apple for me, and I began to feel like a country mouse. I didn't even know that word applied to me, until I walked across the Brooklyn Bridge with my fellow Orientees. I knew I did not belong in the city just yet. I needed to feel nature in a more... well... natural sense. I needed more than concrete. I needed more than just the trees that grew out of the sidewalks, which took me all weekend to notice growing mind you. It's easy to miss them with traffic lights and street lamps everywhere.

I was told I would not know where I'd be going until after I committed to my service time. I was scared. How would I be okay with this? What if I got sent to NYC or worse, Ft. Slaughterdale FL??? What if people hated me, and I lost track of my purpose? What if I go to Detroit and get shot?

More over, what if my family is upset that I wont be home for holidays: did I mention I wont be home for holidays? No Thanksgiving, no Christmas, no Easter. Maybe New Years...
It broke my heart to think I would not see my family. It killed me a bit. I had to accept this.

I remembered the words of my dear friend Shawn. He gave me one last piece of solid advice before he moved to Hawaii, lucky bastard! He said, "You have to move on..."

Tell me about it. That's been the theme of my past year it seems. This reminded me of "Sunday in the Park with George" and Bernadette Peters singing Move On: "Stop worrying where you're going, move on."

And I knew I needed to trust God. I knew I would go where I was needed, even if it was as far away as FL. I embraced this notion, went on vacation, and when I came back, I discovered an email stating I was going to Atlantic City.
My family was overjoyed.
My heart was lightened.
My friends were relieved.

And now I am sitting here thinking about all the tears I cried about my placement. Did they matter? Of course they did. I did something huge.
I put my neck out for an opportunity that might have been so wrong for me. I jumped into a world of service of the heart without wanting anything in return. I gave faith a chance.
I trusted in something bigger than myself, to take care of my fears, to hold me if I was to go out of my comfort zone. I met God where I knew I would find him, in a small church in Ephrata PA, and he told me to just shut up and do His Will. Well... here I go.

So my waiting process was difficult, but here I am. I leave to go to training in NYC starting September 1st. I train for two weeks and then I am off to Atlantic City.

Now to you my readers- get on me about posting if you don't see me doing so. I want to do this- I will need this blog.

Until then- I stick to my basics: my ABC's...

Esperando

Three months ago I made the commitment to become a full-time volunteer with the Augustinian Volunteers. At the time I was in school talking with friends who were about to embark on similar journeys, but now that I've graduated it's easy to forget why I had the urge to jump into something so unfamiliar to me. I began doubting that I wanted this anymore because I was scared. I was scared of being away from everything I know and love; my family, friends, boyfriend, dog, state. It's also hard to see all of my friends getting jobs or going back to school because there is this constant feeling that I should be doing those things too. Backing out seemed like an easy option, but the reality is that those things will be here when I get back and I have the rest of my life to find a job.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to speak with many of the people who were very much a part of my discernment process, most of whom are former volunteers. While I was back at Cabrini and listening to their experiences it all became very clear again. When I really think about it I can't see myself doing anything else and serving others is what I've been doing my whole life and this is the next step. [That stupid Robert Frost poem keeps popping into my head (sorry Robert). I guess that poem is relevant in many stages of life, but certainly for me as I take this next step. I had two options--find a job or volunteer for one year. Obviously you know the one I decided.] I'm fortunate to have such a wonderful network of people who will lend me support and advice during the next year. I hope that after my year, I'm able to help others realize their options of volunteering after graduation (maybe even through this blog).

Basically this waiting period has given me much time to talk myself out of this commitment. However, it's a healthy challenge because without having second thoughts I wouldn't have had as many opportunities to remember exactly why service is important to me. In school service was, in a sense, shoved down my throat every day so when I wasn't there anymore, I felt lost in a way. But I think back to my Appalachia trips, being in Ecuador, the sleep outs for Hunger and Homelessness Week, CRS events, retreats, etc., and it all comes back to me. I don't know what exactly to expect when I get there and I think that's one of the most difficult thing for me during this waiting period. I have so many questions and anxieties but the waiting ends soon, on August 23 to be exact.

I'm excited to share my experiences with all who are reading and hope that they will inspire you to do something you never thought possible.

[Just a note, I can get a little crazy sometimes so if for some reason I ramble or am freaking out/overly excited about something, just know that's normal for me.]

Peace and love,
Shannon

Kristie is waiting

Right now, as I type, I am waiting. I’m waiting for nothing and a whole lot of things at this moment- I mean who isn’t always waiting for something? For example, I’m waiting for my facebook page to refresh (my computer is really slow these days). I’m waiting to get tired enough to go to sleep (I really shouldn’t have had sugar after 8). I’m waiting for Tuesday night so I can see my first love in concert (Hanson). And I’m waiting for my other bloggers to post on waiting (I need some inspiration). 

Yet right now as my facebook successfully loads and I can check how many people commented on my post about this blog, I find myself at a stand still for just a second. The stand still scares me because it forces me to refocus on what awaits me next- volunteering.

Now don’t get me wrong, I can’t freaking wait to start my volunteer experience at St. Ann’s. It’s going to be an incredible experience to teach elementary school children living on the Turtle Mountain reservation in Belcourt, ND. I’m looking forward to communal living and to growing in my relationship with God. I am a little intimidated but excited to experience a completely different culture than that of my Jersey shore upbringing (no, I’m not talking about Snooky, MTV, or any reality show about New Jersey. Although you should know that I can shout just as loud as anyone on Cake Boss and I do love a good boardwalk).

I guess what scares me about what’s next is what’s going on right now. I leave for ND in about 11 days. While this is an incredible time to spend with the ones closest to me, it’s also a time that’s marked by many questions and a whole lot of disbelief. I get a lot of questions from other people, the most common having to do with why on earth I would pick North Dakota out of the other 49 states to volunteer my time (the answer has everything to do with God). And I have a lot of questions myself. Can I do this? Am I going to be a good teacher? Will I make friends? Will I miss my family, friends, and boyfriend too much? Sometimes these questions become overwhelming.

As for the disbelief, I just can’t grasp the fact that it’s almost time to start this next chapter of my life. The first time I ever thought about post-undergraduate service was sophomore year of college. Throughout the next 2 years, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I might want to do as a volunteer. By the summer before senior year, I had made my decision to only apply to volunteer organizations instead of also applying to graduate school. In November, I attended a day of discernment where I was directed to the Catholic Network of Volunteer Services. Through their website, I found St. Ann’s in February. I applied and was accepted by April. It’s July 26th now but that afternoon in early April seems like it was just yesterday.

I must admit that none of that really matters because August 7th is coming soon and I have a lot to do before then. I have clothes to buy, people to see, and many prayers to be said. But in spite of my packed 'to do' list, I must challenge and remind myself to wait just a little less. I need to stay in the present and enjoy these last 11 days until I board the plane that will take me away from here and bring me to that next chapter. I don't want to miss out on the present because I'm too concerned about the future. So I'll take the time to have coffee with friends, to go out to a movie with my boyfriend, and spend some time beating my family at Scrabble. I'll hang out with my cousins, stay over my Grandma's house, and DVR more Modern Family and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition to be watched after a few hours at the beach. I'll stay focused on being focused on today and not tomorrow.

"So do not worry about tomorrow: tomorrow will take care of itself"- Matthew 6:34

Peace,

Kristie

A NETter Before He Fishes!

 Hello to all! My name is Bobby Moren and I am a Cabrini Graduate from the Class of 2008! I was a Religious Studies Major and was a founding member of the Cabrini Baseball Club. I also was very involved in the Campus Ministry program found in the Wolfington Center and was on the first Cabrini trip to go to Duran, Ecuador!

 I am here writing on this blog to share with you how my life as a Cabrini graduate is going to be taking one of the biggest turns of my entire life! The journey that I and 120 other young Catholic men and women will endure will be starting on August 19, 2010. We will be full time volunteers with an Organization known as NET Ministries (National Evangelization Teams). NET is based out of St. Paul, Minnesota and is committed to being a witness of God's love and mercy to the youth of our country! On my journey around the country in my team of 12 members, we will be Challenging young Catholics to love and embrace the life of the Church!

 Now this first blog is to simply tell you how waiting for the mission to start has been! Well, I was asked to raise money to help pay for some necessities and my monthly stipend of 100 dollars a month! We were asked to raise $4,000 but with much prayer and hard work, the Lord has blessed me in raising about $5,000 for my 9 month trip! As for the spiritual part of my waiting; it has been brutal on some days and on other days, I have been able to really see God in certain things. From about the time I accepted this volunteer position, I have been tempted many times over; and yet, through my failures and my trials, I have always been able to keep God close in my prayers and in my heart, which has led me to where I am today writing this blog!

 Before I really figured out how close I was to leaving, I thought, "I can do this by myself! It is only 6 months away and that is really not that far away!" Well, I was wrong and the beginning was tough, Fundraising was tough, praying was tough! And then one day I looked and saw that wow, 3 months has passed and my fundraising was completed! My prayers had changed from "Lord please help me" to "Thank you Lord for this awesome blessing!" Life was less tough, things began to work out for me in all aspects of life! Now today I am leaving in a few short weeks, I have made many friends with my NET brothers and sisters, and even here at home the Lord has blessed me with caring friends, family, girlfriend and a very supportive group in my youth group teens that I have been ministering to over the past couple years!

 So what is it like to be a NETter waiting? The example that comes to mind is of a fisherman! Before a fisherman goes out on the boat, he checks everything, and then, he checks it again, and then, he checks it one more time! A fisherman makes sure his nets are secure, his boat is safe, his fellow crew members are up to the task! Life before experiencing NET is one of mixed emotions of leaving my home, family, friends, and my life for 9 months! But it is also an excitement that is overwhelming to even express into words! I am giving 9 months of my life to ONLY God, by running Catholic Retreats in order to be a witness of God's Love and Mercy! I am going to be an example to thousands of teens around America of what God has called us to be in this world! So waiting has been up and down, but it has been an experience that I would never give away because it is also one of the greatest feelings I have ever felt. I will end by saying, I have made it through the preparation stages of the trip! I am ready to get on that boat and go fish with my NET!

Waiting

Our first posts will be about the period we are all currently in- the time between making the decision to commit to our organizations and actually leaving for our assignments. Waiting can be fun, challenging, exhausting, and enlightening. We hope you enjoy and can benefit from our thoughts on this topic!


Peace,
Kristie

Purpose

Hello!

I (Kristie) wanted to dedicate the first post to telling you a little bit about this blog and what you can expect from it for the next year or so. The authors are three 2010 graduates from Cabrini College. Each of us have chosen to spend time as full time volunteers through Augustinian Volunteers (Shannon), Covenant House (Byll), and St. Ann's (Kristie). Chiming in sporadically will be Bobby Moren, a 2008 graduate who is doing his service through NET- National Evangelization Teams. We created this blog as a way to communicate with our loved ones, families, classmates, friends, mentors, professors, supervisors, and anyone else interested about our experiences volunteering. Our goal is to blog every few weeks about a certain topic and how it relates to each of our experiences. We'll also provide updates and stories when we can.

We appreciate your comments, encouragement, support, and (most importantly) your prayers as we embark on the next chapter of our lives. Thanks for reading!

Peace,
Kristie