So now that I am waiting for this year of service to begin, I've started thinking- which is never a good thing because only two kinds of things happen when I go too deep into the recesses of my mind- unicorns and glitter and madness!
I realized I forgot to mention something important in my last post- I MET FELICIA DAY. She and I talked about how her character Penny was kinda the spark for me doing service work with the homeless. I told her how star struck I was by her and how lame felt when I confessed to my obsession with her voice. I told her I felt like she sings to me when she says, Keep your head up Billy Buddy. LAME!!! But I got her autograph, I made her cry, I hugged her and I touched her hair! THIS IS HER HAIR!!!
Anyway- moving on. I can't begin to describe how relieved I was when I found out I had been placed in Atlantic City. I had never been there in all my years until this summer when I went on a trip with my Da-das and a bunch of really cool people.
We spent the day doing the usual, gamble gamble gamble and then hit the beach- which was then followed by hitting the bar. Hard. We laughed and laughed and I remember as we ran back out to the beach for one last swim before making the trip home, I noticed something so monumental but so subtle.
All of my summers growing up had been spent in some capacity at the Jersey Shore, mainly in Avalon. My family has been blessed to have a house down there, which I have known and loved for as long as I can remember. It sits on the very end of the island, half a block from a private beach, which nowadays we use for cocktail hour- which runs from about 1pm-5pm on some days.
But before it was the open bar- the beach, which we called the bulkhead- was a sanctuary for me. I would play on and in the jetty- the rocks that jut out into the water. I would collect shells and stones and of course the most important thing: treasures!
My family is all about treasure hunting on the beach. We always look forward to rainy days at the beach during the summer. Not just because we get to stay in and play Scrabble or watch movies or go to the surf malls, but because we knew that once the storm had quieted down, the shoreline would be scattered with driftwood and any other kind of debris washed up from the stormy waves. I've found some of the most amazing things after the storms in my life...
More than anything else though, my favorite thing about Avalon was the view. Being at the end of the island, you can watch the bridge to Sea Isle go up and down for all the big ships. And on really clear nights, you can see the lights of Ocean City, and sometimes, even Atlantic City. This lights of the AC were faint at best, but I could always pick out AC from two red lights and one bright blue light. I never knew what they were- but my families always said, "Oh they're just casinos..."
So standing on the beach, tipsy as a rocking horse, I looked up and saw the building I was standing under. It was glowing blue. And next to it, two buildings colored in crimson.
"YOU GUYS GUESS WHAT! I KNOW WHERE WE ARE!!!"
"Billy, shut up and get in the water!"
I ran to the water's edge and looked out across the vast sea, hoping to see the bulkhead. But there were no lights to be seen from this side of the ocean. I could not see the bulkhead, the jetty, the treasures.
But I knew they were all there, somewhere in the darkness.
From a distance, AC looks like a sparkling jewel, a treasure among the waves, far off and distant. But looking from that coastline made me realize that despite the sparkle of the city, there was darkness surrounding it, making it hard for anyone to see past the glamor. It was then that I knew I wanted to be placed in Atlantic City.
Even now I think about those lights and I cannot help but wonder if someone once looked from where I stood on a clear night and thought for a moment they saw my flashlight burning into the open sea air, and thought to themselves, "I wonder if they are lost." Maybe they stood where I did and saw me where I was on the jetty, desperately looking across the ocean at AC.
So now I am returning to the City of Lights, remembering what Felicia said: Even in the darkness every color can be found...
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