Esperando

Three months ago I made the commitment to become a full-time volunteer with the Augustinian Volunteers. At the time I was in school talking with friends who were about to embark on similar journeys, but now that I've graduated it's easy to forget why I had the urge to jump into something so unfamiliar to me. I began doubting that I wanted this anymore because I was scared. I was scared of being away from everything I know and love; my family, friends, boyfriend, dog, state. It's also hard to see all of my friends getting jobs or going back to school because there is this constant feeling that I should be doing those things too. Backing out seemed like an easy option, but the reality is that those things will be here when I get back and I have the rest of my life to find a job.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to speak with many of the people who were very much a part of my discernment process, most of whom are former volunteers. While I was back at Cabrini and listening to their experiences it all became very clear again. When I really think about it I can't see myself doing anything else and serving others is what I've been doing my whole life and this is the next step. [That stupid Robert Frost poem keeps popping into my head (sorry Robert). I guess that poem is relevant in many stages of life, but certainly for me as I take this next step. I had two options--find a job or volunteer for one year. Obviously you know the one I decided.] I'm fortunate to have such a wonderful network of people who will lend me support and advice during the next year. I hope that after my year, I'm able to help others realize their options of volunteering after graduation (maybe even through this blog).

Basically this waiting period has given me much time to talk myself out of this commitment. However, it's a healthy challenge because without having second thoughts I wouldn't have had as many opportunities to remember exactly why service is important to me. In school service was, in a sense, shoved down my throat every day so when I wasn't there anymore, I felt lost in a way. But I think back to my Appalachia trips, being in Ecuador, the sleep outs for Hunger and Homelessness Week, CRS events, retreats, etc., and it all comes back to me. I don't know what exactly to expect when I get there and I think that's one of the most difficult thing for me during this waiting period. I have so many questions and anxieties but the waiting ends soon, on August 23 to be exact.

I'm excited to share my experiences with all who are reading and hope that they will inspire you to do something you never thought possible.

[Just a note, I can get a little crazy sometimes so if for some reason I ramble or am freaking out/overly excited about something, just know that's normal for me.]

Peace and love,
Shannon