Detroyt- The Adventures of Byll Monahan- Taking the Sweet with the Sour- One Month In…

Today was not only the first day I ever tried grits- it was also the last day I ever tried grits…

I have been working here in Detroyt for one month now, and I have learned so much. It is kinda crazy to think that life has gone by so fast already. And even though I am enjoying my time here, I have planned a trip home later on this week- spending time with family and friends due to the fact that I won’t be home for the holidays. That notion still bothers me a bit, but I am learning to live with it…

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Where do I begin? Work first I suppose: I am now an accomplished and glorified secretary. I have learned to work the coffee machine and make a killer cup of brew- at least that is what my fellow workers tell me- I have a sneaking suspicion that they feed my ego so they won’t have to make their own coffee or tea themselves. Damn! They have discovered my secret weakness- flatter and ego inflation! I have had a pot of tea every day since I’ve been here- it’s lovely!

I am really beginning to understand why God placed me here. There are so many minor problems that need major fixings here- little things and issues that have too long been smoldering beneath the surface- people not being organized: unable to find papers, coffee, kids- people not communicating: writing in the log book, daily check sheet, observation notes- staff relations with the kids: in part with staff communication, rule breaking, playing favorites, and simply not interacting with them.

I have learned what it means to go to bed tired. These eight hour work days, six hour naps and eight hour work days are crazy. The very concept of time has become something of a mystery to me. I am either fully aware of every moment, or I am actually CELEBRATING A MONDAY- since my weekends are on Tuesdays and Wednesdays now. It’s weird how I used to value Fridays and Saturdays as time off. I don’t see how that is anymore, though I do get to spend quality time with the kids those days.

Fridays and Saturdays are my afternoon/evening shifts: 3:30-11:30, and during these times I work with two wonderful people who love to goad one another on. They bring joy to my heart and are always good for a joke or some solid advice. I have learned lots about the Illuminati and different blends of tea to name a small portion of my education.

The kids here are delightful. The Rights of Passage, where I work, harbor the kids who want to be here, and they are just solid kids. We had a few bad eggs for awhile, but they were either discharged or let themselves out-  people come and go often here- some are celebrated- some are mourned.

Saturdays are usually our Smoothie Movie Nights- we have been watching anything I have in 

my collection that the kids don’t find “gay”. Yeah--- lets talk about that real quick…

There is a big problem here with using that term as an adjective for stupid. I am here for a reason: I am trying to break the kids of using “gay” or “retarded” as insults or adjectives of distaste. It is for sure on my goal list.

I have struggled here a bit with all of the teen suicide in the gay community as of late. It has gotten out of control and needs to end. And this environment is in dire need of help in this instance. I was approached by a teen who has been having suicidal thoughts and has been cutting. He also shared with me that he was bi and felt very out of place here. Having come from out of state, he has nowhere to go to call his community- please keep him in your prayers and positive thoughts- he is presently one of my biggest concerns. He is also one of my favorites, not because he is bi, but because he reminds me of the people from back home.

During my weekdays, I work with three different women who simply make me a better person. My Sundays and Mondays are filled with Ms B. who is just a fantastic DJ and rockstar. She and I listen to all her favorite music, most of which has become my favorite music! We talk conspiracy theory about Tupac and Biggie and we love all them good grooves- the kinds that you need to have candle light and a good man by your side to really appreciate!

My other DJ is Ms T. and she is just a hot mess! She and I laugh more and more every day. We play all the good Gospel Music and Praise and Worship jams. She took me to a concert with a few of the kids the other night. Dr. Marvin Sapp and Brian Courtney Wilson performed along with a bunch of others at the Second Ebenezer Church. My first real experience in the community, and I stood out like Woah! People were incredibly welcoming to me, especially after they saw me getting into the music. I prayed with two lovely older women who just kept grabbing and shaking my hands like they were Oprah or something! Gotta love the Oprah hug (GOOD FOR YOU! GOOD FOR YOU!).

so…

Mr J. is a wonderful man. He is also my boss. I have not had much interaction with him aside from delivering messages and transferring calls to him, but the few conversations I have had have been wonderful.

I most recently took the kids out to a $1.50 movie! Unheard of out in Philly- but really big out here! I have long overlooked how many blessings I have had in my life that I have either not recognized or abused. Going to the movies, running across a busy highway, just sitting in a car and listening to music, eating snacks or candy- these kids have not had the chance to do these things for so long. It had been over a year since some of them had gotten out to see a movie. 

I also got pulled over by a cop while out with the kids. Freeways turn into developments too quickly round here and speed limit signs are few and far between. But the guy didn’t even give me a chance to get the registration and insurance out of the van glove compartment. He asked me what the van was for and I told him what Covenant House was all about. He walked away and came back a minute later and told me to move on and slow down. I love my job! The kids loved the encounter too- they couldn’t stop laughing!

I have taken it upon myself to clean everything in the agency office. I have been organizing papers, files, the computer desktop. It is remarkable what I have found. People hide things everywhere here. I found a box of tea in the bottom of the closet- it was a secret stash. Next to it was a bag of caffeinated instant coffee, an unavailable commodity around here, believe me!

I had to drive a kid to the emergency room the other day for psychiatric evaluation. It was by far one of the hardest things I have had to do so far. I had to petition them- which essentially signs them up for a gown a bed and depending on the situation, bed restraints. It was incredibly difficult to witness.

On a lighter note, I work with kids from the Crisis Center next door two or three times a week helping them with life skills. It is a group called Total Me. I am so NOT qualified to teach some of the stuff we have been talking about- so I keep it together by letting them talk in an open discussion for many of the talks. But we have recently changed our over-arching theme to Social Skills- which has been like playing video games for me! I have loved these groups and I have really made some wonderful connections with some of the kids. Thus far we have covered dating violence, internet violence, street violence, anger management and forgiveness. Let me tell you- these kids have got it down. They know how to handle themselves in almost any situation, but it’s in practicing what you preach that they miss sometimes. So we have been talking about that.

From these groups, I have seen kids in gangs almost start fights, a couple of couples break up and get back together, the men share stories about their mothers, the women about their fathers, uncles and other relatives, sleeping residents becoming the most active participants in the class, and the quiet kids beginning to open up. All of this, in 45 minute sessions a day! It is exhausting!

Lastly, I have been in charge of handing out meds. The kids are so good about it, but some simply refuse. It is hard to see them destroy themselves, especially when the agency does not require them to take their meds in order to stay… does this bother anyone else- or just me?

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Community next I suppose.

I live in a lovely little cottage in the middle of campus. The pulse and beat of my world- my ever present, ever ticking clock, is the basketball court, and all of the people who play are my second hand. I hear the dribbling of rubber on black top and I know it is 9am, right after breakfast. Again and it is 1:00, right after lunch. Again at 2:15, between Total Me Classes, and again at 6:30, right after dinner. I can nap and know when to wake up without an alarm.

I share a room with my housemate Josh. We have very different tastes, but I value him in my life right now. He is calm and gentle and knows just how to act at the right times. He has his moments of crazy, which usually involve him breaking into a dance with Jessie, or throwing a curve-ball comment at Chui. We have a mutual affinity for incense- thank Allah!

Jessie continues to be her perky self. She has a bottomless and undying appetite for life. Her joy has been a good thing in my life, and my “steadiness” has been a balance for her- I think. We have enjoyed the integration into the house together, and we fondly remember everything that has transpired between us since Formation. It is nice to have someone to look at and have them simply understand what you are thinking and going through.

Chui is being added to my list of Moms. She is incredible. I am so glad to have her in my life. We have cooked many meals together, our most recent one consisting of Simple Chicken, Pineapple Casserole and Acorn Squash. She bought a 25lbs bag of rice the other day, it was her pride and joy because it was only $8! We have maybe eaten half of it since then! She is my biggest fan out here, my ultimate encouragement. I am hoping to learn everything I can from her- and Josh too. It is weird that we only have a few weeks left of them before we say goodbye. I feel as though I have been with them for much longer than simply a month…

The community has shared some good times together- we have done lots of shopping and small adventures together. Chui has taken us to parks- something I have missed since moving away from good old Valley Forge Park. I have discovered a new place of retreat- Belle Isle Park, a 5 mile island in the middle of the Detroit River, filled with fountains, lakes, conservatories, roads, and all manner of things to do. I hope to go there again soon and take pictures- look for them!

Josh has taken us to his dear friends’ two homes. They are urban gardeners living in intentional community with one another. They grow all manner of veggies and fruits and have raised chickens and bees too! I am eager to help them make jams and canned pears soon. I may even help them with the honey harvest!

The urban farmers have kittens to protect the chickens from rats. Can I tell you how cute they are- just wow! So Little! One of the farmers is moving away, but she has a bunny named Ophelia. Again- WOW!

The farmers have a bi monthly potluck/bonfire and I am hoping to get involved more and more with them. They are simply wonderful people. We watch Glee together every Tuesday- need I say more…

Things I have noticed while out and about in Detroyt:

-There are liquor stores on EVERY CORNER!- which is totally unfair since we live in a dry house…

-Strip Clubs are on every block, and are advertised with Big BOLD Signs and Lights and… pumpkins…? I wish I was joking- at least Philly keeps theirs below ground…

-The speed limit here is 65 mph. The speed minimum is 55 mph. Yep…

-Gay clubs are either really scattered around the area or really into Drag. Good times…

-Soda is called Pop out here… weirdos!

-There is a street filled with crack dens all of two blocks away from the agency- no lie- the cops won’t even go down those streets- all of the lamp lights have been shot out, and people just sit in front of their houses tripping. Cars are parked on both sides of the street, making the two-way street a one way lane at the best of times.

-J-walking is a criminal offense here. You will actually get ticketed.

-Detroyt is surrounded by wealthy areas in every direction. The city itself is dying out.

-The typical Detroyt greeting is, “What up, Doh?”

-I am really glad I learned about gang signs too. I have seen so many around the areas I have driven through during the day time, so I have learned to avoid those streets at night.

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Now let me say a few words about my Prayer Life. I have seen so many roses since I’ve been here, which means Saint Theresa has had my back. The Blessed Mother has done wonderful things for me. She is present in only a few places around here, but she is doing great things for me and for these kids.

My faith life has bloomed into a new kind of flower. I am learning about the Divine Order, the real presence of Jesus, and the real presence of the Devil. I have been told by a few people here that, “White people are always talking about God, and Black people are always talking about Jesus…” AT first I was not sure how to react to this statement made by one of the kids and then by one of my fellow staff members, but I am starting to see it.

People here are afraid of the Devil, in a big way. “He is trying to kill me,” they say. They are often afraid of other faith forms, as it might be trying to keep them away from the Jesus they know. This has been difficult for me, as my faith life is very different.

One of my favorite workers, Mr M. has had experiences he and I have not gotten to talk about yet, but I know there will be a time to discuss our own faith journeys with one another.

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I am going to be home for a week, during which time I will be with my MYAns, my Cabrini Crew, my Old School friends, my Gaming group, my Ren Faire Geeks, my Praise and Worship friends, and of course, my loving Family.

I miss so many people from home, so I am making the most of this trip and trying to take time for me as well. I am eager to see people I have not been able to get in contact with, and I am longing for hugs from old and dear friends.

I will continue to write- I hope you continue to read.