Blessing

I wrote this on the train ride to Minneapolis. I’m home now. I'm beyond excited to be with my family and Cliff. However, there is a part of me that's still in North Dakota.



I lived in Belcourt, North Dakota for 9 months and 21 days. Writing it down, putting it into numbers, makes it seem like it was a short amount of time. I suppose that’s true numerically. In a lot of ways though this year seemed like much more time. I have experienced many years worth of growth and development in these 9 months. It was the most challenging yet the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. Surely, it has been the best decision I ever let God make for me.


I was reading a book the other day in adoration. It talked in great length of what it means to be blessed. The author translates it to mean “it’s been good, it’s been very good”. I think about the past almost 10 months. I’ve fought with people, cried with people, laughed with people, stood silently with people, and prayed with people. My students were awesome and difficult. Some of them live lives that cause them to mature beyond their years. It’s hard to explain to a nine year old about why her mother won’t write her back from jail. They fought with each other and I swore time and time again that they must be pre-hormonal. Occasionally, I counseled some other kids in the school about their behavior problems or about their home lives. Some days my heart was heavier than I could have imagined to be because of these struggles the kids whom I love go through daily. I think about how it must feel for a mother when her child struggles. I experienced perhaps a fraction of that as their teacher. In March, I got an awesome co-teacher and I started to teach art. I learned that God calls upon us to use our smallest gifts, even if they contain little talent.


I experienced the pains of being away from home when the ones you love are hurting. I wished more than once to be able to go home. So I prayed and I prayed and I prayed. Long distance relationships are tough and as I write this I am counting down until I get to see Cliff again.


I experienced the joy of community. The hardest and best thing about this year was living in community with 20 other people. There were 11 women in our house. We came from different areas of the country, different stages of our lives, and with different values and preferences. In spite of our differences, to live together was a blessing. When you live, work, eat, and pray together almost every day you form a bond that is unlike any other. We saw the best and worst of each other. The friendships I formed in Belcourt were among the best I’ve formed in my life. And I say that without any hesitation. I’ll miss these friends very much but find it pretty awesome I have friends from North Dakota, Missouri, Pittsburgh, Massachusetts, Ohio, etc.


My relationship with God, Jesus, and Mary were made significantly stronger this year. I’ll miss living 150 steps away from adoration but look forward to bringing back the graces I received here to NJ. God has been so good to me.


This year I did a lot of things I never thought I would. I went to confession, attended almost daily mass, became a coach for a basketball program, became an art teacher, loved all of our students more than I thought imaginable, went to a sheep shearing, held a baby goat, held a chicken, went on the trailer of a four wheeler on the road, led music for a mass, and made life long bonds with the best group of holy rollers found in North Dakota.


I go back to my comment about what it means to be blessed. I have been blessed beyond belief these past 9 months and 21 days. I’m sad to be leaving here only because of the love I have experienced.


This experience has been good, it has been very good.